Hielo

When does my life begin to take the shape that I want it to? When did i become so obsessed over the reaction that people get from me. Whether it be of lust or despise, I seem to compromise my own values because I've become submissive to the judgment. I shouldn't care, and i never have... but I do. I do because I'm lonely. My motives are merely a gesture out of desperation to relinquish the solitude I feel.

Do you want me, or are you just toying? Do you need me, or is it something that you simply say to gain the appeal of another? I worry, because I let you in, and you baffle me. The concern has risen because of the distance. I wish I could do something about that aside from waiting. Waiting on the moment that I cross bridges and rivers and am near you once again.

I have to stop waiting. Something needs to happen. For me, for you, for us. I don't know what I can do. I can't let THIS fade. I fear of that because this is the warmth that has melted my icy nature. The frigidness has receded much like the glaciers from long ago, yet their breath still I still inhale, hoping to return to my stoic ways. To let the cold take me over, consume me, allow me to be the one with the unmoved mentality. Sessile like the glaciers. No. bring this Ice age to an end, be the excess that melts away at me, and floods my being.