New years

It's the new year. Finally. This year was a mess, and things need to left behind in 08.

The boys, the apartment, the anxiety of trying to do things for myself.

What happened?

How come I let so much crawl under my skin? All i can think about is how i texted Brenton... in the middle of a warehouse in Brooklyn. Party aside, something was just bottled up inside, that needed to exit before the ball dropped. I don't feel comfortable writing his name, because of what it reminds me of... I guess I thought things were going to go my way. I was wrong, but with most things of this nature, you grow and learn from it.

I'm starting 2009 on my own, and that's fine. (I failed to find someone special). I've grown accustomed to being my support system. With a little help from my friend's maybe this year will be something great, something memorable. That isn't to say that 2008 was a total disaster, there were many memories that made me happy, honestly. :) There's still a feeling of dissatisfaction, but it shouldn't overshadow those good moments: being able to live on my own, even if just for a bit, making shit happen in the city, fun times with the boys of 12-2 and the girls of crown heights, even the moments with the boys..., even my monkey (even if he's no longer mine).

The party was amazing. Carlee, Bess, Kelly, and myself went to the warehouse district of Bushwick to hit up a party there. 4 floors of fun: 1 floor for the DJ, another for the bands, and the other 2 where just for more partying. A recollection of the events after midnight's fall is almost impossible, but I do remember getting puked on... and it dribbling into my boots haha. Bess was wasted and made a mess. It was messy.

Cheers to 2009, and to all that it can bring to me.

Earwigs

My earwig is Britney Spear's: Amnesia

I get amnesia when I'm standing next to you-ou-ou...

Tracking treasure down

Why do you tell me
Only things I want to hear
Why dont you tell me
This could just disappear

At the same time
You keep tracking treasure down

You tell me of pirate-ships and fairy-tales
You have me wishing that everything
Was real

Merry Crimas

The Wantagh Parkway on X-mas Eve....

Hella creepy, but someone had to drop off their godmother in Long Beach.... and pick up a 'special gift' for himself...

Put that to good use to ;)

Blanca Nieves

Sunday's snow storm was such a delight. I actually managed to see it happen from the start... sure it took getting wasted with these 2 individuals in Fleetwood (not Fordam):



Ohh Jen and JuJu...

In any case, staying in the UES proved as the perfect opportunity to capture the glory of Central park. During my 2 week stay in the area, I managed to witness 2 snowfalls, the first one being a lot of fun for me. It was a chance to run the track that circles the resevoir alongside the Museum Mile.





...Even Harlem had a winter charm that morning.



The beauty of New York during the winter

Holiday Shopping

sounds about right. At least it's recession-proof

Ring-leader bitch

I have to give it to her, she's come out with another formidable album (formidable in the sense that there ARE good songs, but the majority just lure the listener in b/c of how catchy they are). In any case, "out from under" seems to be the song that speaks to me the most.

The snow, the winter, and just how things have been make me really want to go out for a brisk walk in Central Park tomorrow. I will do that, to make me feel better about how empty at times things seem, and to prove how fulfilling something as simple as a promenade can be. Time to lift my spirit and keep drinking.

I don’t wanna dream about
All the things that never were
Maybe I can live without
When I’m out from under
I don’t wanna feel the pain
What good would it do me now
I’ll get it all figured out
When I’m out from under

So let me go
Just let me fly away
Let me feel the space between us growing deeper
And much darker every day
Watch me now and I’ll be someone new
My heart will be unbroken
It will open up for everyone but you
Even when I cross the line
It's like a lie I’ve told a thousand times

Yo soy un Gitano Metropolitano

bed-ridden

The stars,
The little oracles that foresaw the devastation of the day you would no longer be there,
Gave me a clean pillow to dream.
To remember of anything aside from the collapse of the intercontinental bridge,
That we wore down crossing.
My guardians offered this comfort in hopes that this slumber would break the bed
Worse than what you broke.
Whispers warned of your destructive nature and
Their stellar energy blocked the fragments of this shattered dream.
So this fantastic vessel will move forth,
To the sanctuary.

monkey butt

Monkey

My simian friend.

Puckered face that collapsed my knees.

Kerosene to the electrical fire that had died down.

The warmest months involved some light gusts of comfort

Light-hearted breezes crossing the flooded Mississippi,

To the cosmopolitan island where I remained.

Bringing with them optimistic words,

Gleaming whispers of a time,

That you were here,

To reassure me.

-how funny that this is all i have left of this summer. At least what I don't regret having had occurred, but that i almost wish i hadn't happened.