Citibank has been a source of constant problems. Now two months after the initial attempt at applying for the 2nd-to-last loan of my undergrad years, I am STILL attempting to finish the paper work. I have done everything in my power to get his done since December, but since i have to take into account the 2 weeks of bickering with my dad (the co-signer) and the week he needed to calm down to come to his senses, and the website being changed so drastically that my loan papers couldn't be processed, and having to do everything oldschool (Mail, fax, and phone), it's still not done! I need this money.
I have a debt that I haven't been able to pay for now 2 months... and it's not the student loans, it's my credit card debt. Calls for collection, and notices in the mail, about something I financially cannot do at the moment: pay them...
I want to leave my job. I love Papyrus, I enjoy my coworkers, however I hate the fact that I'm trapped in a store inside a busy NY landmark... Nor am I a fanatic of the commute. It's been really unsatisfying to be there. I've begged to get transferred out of the store, and now a month later, I am still there, in the same place. I have such a strong sense of apathy towards the establishment, that I do my job, and I fuck around... to every degree possible. The office has become a haven for druggery, where I toke up and then crack out on Red Bull. This state of chemical limbo seems to get me through these shifts. Well that, and the company of Magan in particular that make it not seem so bad that I lack the formidable social life which i was so accustomed to.
I don't see my friends. I don't see anyone. I spend most of my time at work, in class, on a train, or in the car, so it doesn't really allow much time for social interactions. I make what little time I can to see people. I see the boys of 12-2 whenever possible (son mis rocas), and anyone else i can have the pleasure to encounter.
I have a 40 page thesis due by May... What have I done for it so far? Not much exept reading my sources, and scribbling notes about them in notebooks. But physically as far as a paper goes... there's nothing done.
I've had an itch to write. Not this, not these rants from an unhappy person. I want really write, something epic, something full of passion, something I love. I would think that this chaos would spark some type of emotive text, but since his dismissal, I haven't had much to write about. That's the sad truth about literature: what provokes some of the greatest works is unrequited love... and maybe I just need to find another guy who could care less about me to be my muse...
I'm tired... of a lot of things... the monochrome apparel, the reality of being in transit (all the time), and having to feign compassion/understanding/sympathy for anyone I encounter while in New York.
I barely sleep. Aun sea es porque estoy TAN occupado, y no por alguien como antes...Blah....
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