2x

Random conclusion that came to mind during a 5 mile run today: I gotta be better than everyone else just to be normal. haha. It's what I've got to do to be taken seriously by the rest of the world. It's not me being self-conscious, it's an awareness of the difficulty of what it means to be gay.

Gotta be tougher, smarter, funnier, and a whole lot of other things, to be received just as well as my straight male peers. Hm... It's not a challenge or anything, but it's something that i noticed as I'm running, observing the little children by the local elementary school. Those were some rough years for me... and had I known what I basically figured out on my own +10 years later, I think it would have been an easier transition from middle school to high school. Bleh.

Speaking of memory lane, random ghosts from the past presented themselves this week. Received a message from a former best-friend of mine. It was a pretty serious falling out, hence why contact between us has been limited at my part despite her persistence to keep in touch. I couldn't deal with her then and I don't think it would be good to start that up again.

Sigh....