"I can sing and I smell, and I hate the world because i'm homeless!!!!!!"

Malena was her name. A cat at the neighborhood bodega. The kind that charm people in only to watch them be "necio." This naughty cat made her way into the beer fridge as we picked up our 40s.

So it's supposed to be ok that a bagman (baglady's male equivalent) is taking up half a bench on this subway with his trash after I spent 10hrs working on my feet???

While on my way up an escalator at the subway station, I had an African woman slip (or something of that nature) and fall on me down the UP escalator.

Blah blah blah

Versace

I failed to mention this, but Donatella Versace stopped by at my job on Monday afternoon. Clearly she had nothing better to do. Her bodyguard was window-shopping, and she brought this slob-of-a-man with her as well...

She looks like putty in person, and her face... well... essentially it looks like her face is stuck permanently like this:

Today, while waiting for my long island-bound LIRR, I witnessed a pimp recruiting a hooker-to-be at the Penn station mc Donalds...

Was sneaky and took a photo:

Fierce shoes

Black woman passing by the front of Hank's Saloon: "Y'all killing yourselves softly."
Me: "Did she just quote Lauren Hill?" "Um, fat black lady, you're killing me softly with your tank-ass."

I'm nauseous from the smell of this Long Islander's bologna sandwich. Oscar Meyers I'm sure.

Friday night

firstly: A random woman approached me while i was working today, to inquire about some clothing, and midway through my response she interrupts me to commend me on my "lovely accent." She proceeded to ask where I was from and before I could answer, I blurted out "I have an accent?!"

secondly: this thunderstorm was a relief from the sticky and hot weather we've had this week. What it didn't relieve anyone (including myself) was from the beggars out and about on the streets. Rain or shine, for a penny or for a dime, they were persistent.

thirdly: It is almost impossible to find a subway car with at least another sober person aboard.

numero 1 (take 2)

So I'm walking with my friend Richard down 7th ave (in the dreaded Penn Station area), and I see this posh woman walking while on her blackberry. She kept gawking at us, b/c we were talking about dick, and b/c Richard has very large spacers in his ears. While we distracted her with our whimsy, this angry black woman is walking in the other direction. The posh woman is walking straight but not paying attention, and the black woman glares right at her and hollers: "I know you ain't about to try to walk right through me, bitch!!!"

hehe

This blog is going in a new direction.

Less about me, more about something else.

What you may ask?

The randomness encountered in NY.

The craziness, the crazies, the weird, etc...

and that's starting tomorrow.

Enjoy

I'm in a new york state of mind.